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Angstnostic

by Nox Nave

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1.
Genesis 04:24
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If Eve weren't so stupid to sin We would live an alleged paradise But Adam had to add on to the stress Since then God decided to improvise Now we all have to go through this We lost our chance for eternal bliss And we breathe what they've committed Or so that's what God said in his book And we breathe what they've committed We're to blame for all of the stories inside God's book At the time it was Adam and Eve on land It wasn't enough to fulfill God's own plan Then God made the serpent to go and tempt And succeeded it's something we don't understand Why even bother to go through this Why even bother to give false bliss And we breathe And we breathe it all And we breathe And we breathe it all
2.
Calling 03:09
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It’s hypocritical It’s a slap in the face It’s a horror film I’m out of place Please help me Jesus Christ Since that seems to be your job If not I’ll be alone And I’m in no mood to sob It’s hypocritical And I keep calling you Who else could rescue me? What am I to do? Please help me Heal my wounds Call me To your list Of abandoned ones I call you In Recovery of life I am so broken And You don’t listen That’s why I turn away
3.
Try 03:16
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4.
Censor Me 03:01
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Yeah, yeah, yeah Go and tell Go and tell what I have done Go report my filthy deeds You find fun in pointing at me I did it, I did it I was the one who did it And I’m here for you to cuff me Take me away The fundies, the fanatics, and the thumpers, too Are you ready to censor me Yeah, yeah, yeah Go and tell Go and tell what I have said Go report my blasphemy How much fun are you having You would kill To watch me Rotting and disappearing Go and run Go and scream Throw your hands in the air And dance away from me Who are you to judge
5.
My Skin 03:46
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My skin so soft It’s sin to touch Or so they say with their Bibles they take My skin was made By Him like suede He has the power to alleviate My skin represents My armor of defense But should I really polish what I’ve done To my skin My skin My skin My skin My skin is real So pure it heals As long as I choose to believe in Him My skin from God But that just sounds so odd Since it does not apply to how I live Who can feel what I feel Who knows enough to understand
6.
Lost in Abyss 03:28
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I can't feel joy I can't see light I can't learn truth I have gone blind I want out of this ditch I am lost in abyss I am lost I am scared I can’t go Anywhere This pain's Not right My heart Is blind I yearn to know the truth I once felt joy But it's now wrath Spirit unreal Misguided path I want out of this ditch I am lost in abyss I am lost I am scared I am torn Everywhere I am lost in abyss
7.
Spirit 03:11
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There's a spirit That lies above It's always watching Each of us Some pray to it Some don't believe Be careful Don't be deceived We must have come from somewhere Just believe what's right in your heart We have the right to choose What we want from the start It's normal To walk away Just remember You don't have to stay Many people Rub this the wrong way Their words they sell and Your attention you pay There's a spirit Haunting us It won't leave It wants us
8.
God 02:49
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Paralyzing the resistance Overflowing of emotion Falling deeply into silence Petrifying situation God Is everything I dreamed Is everything I feared God If everything were seamed If everything were clear God Where is God Squinting eyes to ease the sheerness As if sharpening the translucence Traumatizing the once fairness Redefining with abstraction Where is God
9.
Scam to Sham 03:13
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The seed of an angry god Could grow in a luscious garden field In one’s mind The seed of an angry god Could send all the lightning it could send In one’s mind Names of Jesus Names of Christ Names of holiness intact with every heist Scam to sham Names of Satan Antichrist Names of fallen angels sent to challenge Christ Scam to sham Er schreibt ein Buch für uns (He writes a book for us) The seed of an angry god Could act as a messenger to man To write a book The seed of an angry god Could torture a dozen men or more To write a book Names of Jesus Names of Christ Names of every single holy being Scam to sham
10.
Hell and Heaven 02:30
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As if it were supernatural The belief in God As if it were so damn natural The belief in God But if so To choose between hell and heaven And I don’t even know where to go And I don’t even know where to stay As if it were full of relevance The belief in God As if it were full of substance The belief in God But if so To choose between hell and heaven Tell me where to go Tell me where to stay
11.
Hallelujah 03:18
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Hallelujah With a dose of poisoned truth Hallelujah Signs of heaven to behoove Us Bewildered Confused Puzzled Diffused View To go and join the flock Conflicted Distracted Hypnotized Summoned In a coma Hallelujah “Our Father who art in heaven Hallowed be Thy Name Thy kingdom come Thy will be done On earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread And forgive us our trespasses As we forgive those who trespass against us And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil Amen”
12.
Cringe 03:48
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Jesus help me I am in need I am hungry for more Apples please Can you save me From blasphemy Since I can't seem to quit Tongue-talking Would you wash me I'm so unclean Yet I still keep Sinning badly Would you send me a sign That you exist Or is it a surprise Full of darkness Would you carry away All my sins Or would you laugh at my face That's why I cringe Jesus loves me That's what fundies Tell me all the time In armies But I've tried it Yes I've tried it Nothing special in fact I still sinned God's a story Full of glory Horrifying Sinners burning I cringe because I have just found out There's no cure for Why I'm down
13.
Fae Inside Our Heads 03:26
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Droves Hoards Swarm More Fae All sorts of fae inside our heads Fae All sorts of fae inside our heads Fae Cleansed Dazed Washed Hazed
14.
On That Day 02:20
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I was there that day To celebrate the blessings you gave me That day was more special than others The day I believed in you On that day I called your name I wanted you To wash my sins away I had come To worship you Now you've left Making me so screwed On that day I chose to believe in you Now on this very day I've rejected you On that day I called your name To trust in you Was to make me safe Now you're gone You don't even care I am doomed To Satan's lair On that day I believed in you Now today I've rejected you On that day I believed in you Now today I've rejected you But why am I so blue
15.
Angst 02:53
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Being raised one way Being raised one way, oh Take the church out of the equation And see and see the results This angst Some say I should not be ready for this Some say I should not believe Being between a believer and a nonbeliever Trapped Which way do I go I once saw things one way Now I see them another way But still Tell me the answer Between a believer and a nonbeliever What has been proven has also not proven us Its existence My mind needs to rest From life From this kind of life From this kind of life From this kind of life From this kind of life Oh, kind of life

about

FREE RELEASE!

This is a personal album based on my long-term struggles with God and Christianity, an angsty and dark time of confusion in my life as a self-proclaimed agnostic who needed proof of God's existence or lack thereof. This is not an anti-Christian album by any means, but it is obviously not a Christian one either. I just call it an agnostic album, and agnosticism is related to so many people across the globe. Why not to speak to them, too, instead of just believers and nonbelievers?

The lyrics were written from 2004 to 2013. Most of the music was produced in 2013, with just minor changes over the years. Originally, it was going to have thirteen tracks instead of fifteen, and it was mostly that way until 2021. I decided to add "Try" and "Fae Inside Our Heads" because they worked so well as part of the album, especially lyrically, and they were orphaned tracks that didn't belong to any albums (or B-sides, if you will). There was, however, a short period before 2021 when the unreleased piano version of "Phariseeing (HypoChristical)" off MONSTRUM made ANGSTNOSTIC have fourteen tracks, but the synthpop version it is now turned out better and still fits the theme for MONSTRUM.

Regarding the genre, ANGSTNOSTIC is not synthpop like the main style has been from 2019 to 2021. However, 2022 was meant to be the year of alternative music for Nox Nave, with a planned return to synthpop in the future. I had a lot of alt versions of existing tracks, as well as piano originals before Nox Nave as a name and artistry was even a thought. So, I chose 2022 as a release year for all this leftover material. Truthfully, even though I did "synthpopify" the alt and piano versions when creating my Nox Nave artistry in 2018, it just didn't work to do that with ANGSTNOSTIC because the tracks sound much better as alternative music.

By the way, there will be no more releases with religion themes, since ANGSTNOSTIC and MONSTRUM are enough. I may make brief references to religion here and there, solely related to social issues, but not even the song as a whole would be about religion. Admittedly, it's an overdone theme, and reasonably so, given much of American society. However, I needed this to get this album out as part of my musical venting. It's just that special to me, and I wanted to share it with my fans and listeners. :)

credits

released May 5, 2022

All parts of the release done by Nox Nave.

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Nox Nave

I am an artist who creates various styles of dark music: synthpop, electronica, alternative, and avant-garde. I write songs in multiple languages, but mostly English.

All lyrics, vocals, production, and artwork are done by me, unless stated otherwise.

I also write in various genres of fiction under multiple pen names. ... more

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